Max Steel Omake Theater
by Gridmaster
Summary: Be afraid, be very afraid as to what Ellen and I can cook up in a late night chat.


# Max Steel Omake Theater!  
(or, what we _don't_ see on Saturday morning!)

* * *

_(In mid-scene, Max races past and grabs Rachel's script)  
_**Rachel**: Excuse me for a moment. STEEL! Bring that back NOW!  
**Max**: Make me!  
**Rachel**: (_glint in her eyes_) You forget I'm in business clothes now. My shoes have points.  
**Max**: Eep! (_hands script back_)  


* * *

**Pete**: I'm sorry, was I supposed to be in this scene? I was, um...checking the food table.  
_(camera pans to show a buxom blonde extra picking at a salad plate)  
_**Pete**: Eheh....  


* * *

**Berto**: Okay, so we just reverse the polarity of the--  
_(WHAP! A net falls over him)  
_**Cat**: Don't mind us... _(Drags him off screen.)_  


* * *

**Laura**: EXCUSE ME! Why does SHE (_points at Rachel_) get all the scenes with Josh? I'M his girlfriend!  
_(script boy comes over, hands her latest revision, points out cast list)  
_**Laura**: Dammit. (_looks at script boy_) You free Friday night?  


* * *

**Kaneda**: Five Ninja Takeout! Somebody order Takoyaki? (_stagehand whispers_) Whaddaya MEAN I'm in the wrong fic?  


* * *

**Director**: TAKE TWO! and....ACTION!  
**Berto**: (_nervous, looking around)_ So we just reverse the polarity and....AHHHHH! _(races off screen, chased by horde of screaming girls chanting "We Love Berto!" "We Wanna Berto Plushie!")_  


* * *

**Max**: A new weapon to test? COOL!  
_(POING!)  
_**Max**: A ferret blaster?  
**Berto**: They let Maxy work props.  


* * *

**Max**: So what do you call this again?  
**Berto**: The Mark-5.  
**Max**: What does it do?  
**Berto**: This. (_pushes button, robot explodes_)  
**Max**: Is it supposed to do that?  
**Berto**: Let me check my notes....  
**Max**: Waitaminute...let me guess, the new writer's a Sluggite.  
**Berto**: What's a Sluggite?  


* * *

**Dragonelle**: Vitriol! That's MY wardrobe!  
**Vitriol**: It is? But I look so good in gold!  


* * *

**Vitriol**: Oh... did I have a line there?  
_(Psycho rips off one of Vitriol's arms and hits him with it.)__  
_

* * *

**Dread**: Now, I want everyone to play nice. _(double-checks script)_ I demand to have a talk with the writers.  


* * *

**Psycho**: If I get my butt handed to me one more time in this episode, I'm going to see if I can't get a job on "Action Man."  
**Tempest**: No way, man! No one's cutting in on my time with Asazi!  
**Asazi**: Go find yourself a magazine, kid. I wouldn't mind having a real man around for a change.  
**Alex and Max**: _(exchange looks.)_ EEEEWWWW...  
**Dr. X**: That... is an image I did NOT need.  
**Asazi**: _(looks at Dr X) _You don't have much room to criticize.  


* * *

**Bio-Constrictor**: Where'ssss my trailer?  
**Stagehand**: It's the big terrarium at the end of the row.  


* * *

**Jeff**: Max, if you blow up ONE MORE HAWK, you're going on your next mission on a tricycle!  


* * *

**Max**: Hey, when do I get another scene with Rachel? (_script handed to him_) Hey wait, since when do we fight in swimsuits?  
**Flunkie**: Here's your wardrobe, Mr. Steel. (_hands him a teal speedo with the N-Tek logo on the butt_)  
**Max**: I have to get a better agent.  
**Rachel**: It could be worse, Mr. Steel. (_walks onstage in a teal string thong bikini. N-Tek logo is painted on her thigh_)  
**Max**: (_squeaking as he sees her_) I think it just got worse.  


* * *

_(By the coffee maker)_  
**Pete**: So it doesn't bother you that you're only a bit player?  
**Marshak**: Nope. Trust me, kid, it's safer.  
**Pete**: Safer? You're kidding.  
**Stagehand**: Okay, bring in the defibrillator for the hospital scene.  
**Marshak**: I rest my case.  


* * *

**Stagehand**: Yeah, well, Martinez won't come out of his dressing room... mainly because Cat's staked out the door.  


* * *

**Director**: How am I supposed to work like this??  
**Max**: Because you get the biggest paycheck?  
**Director**: Ah, yes. Thank you.  


* * *

**Woody**: I knew they'd ask me back on this show eventually...  
**Max**: What's he here for?  
**Stagehand**: Watch.  
_(An anvil drops out of the sky)  
_**Max**: Fanwriters are VICIOUS.  


* * *

**Vitriol**: _(looks up from playing solitaire one-armed)_ What, is it my line?  


* * *

**Dragonelle**: So, Asazi, a little girl talk... HOW do you get your hair to do that?  
**Asazi**: A little-known secret that's illegal in most countries.  


* * *

**Berto**: So, we just reverse the polarity and-  
_BLAM!  
_**Max**: Oh, that HAD to hurt.  
**Director**: Okay, Berto! Don't touch anything more dangerous than your toes!  
**Berto**: No way. Max showed me this strip on the last break.  


* * *

**Psycho**: I think I'd have better luck doing Shakespeare....  


* * *

_(offstage)  
_**Dread**: Personally, I find her tiresome. Enthusiastic, yes, but tiresome. You're welcome to her.  
**L'Tranger**: Oh no, I wouldn't _dream_ of enchanting her away from you. You had her first; she's all yours.  
**Dread**: But I don't want her! You can have her!  
**L'Tranger**: Not a chance, John.  
**Dragonelle**: You two sure know how to make a girl feel wanted. I don't need either of you! (_sing-song_) Oh, Psycho!!  
**Psycho**: Help! Hide me!

* * *

_(on the set of Max Steel: The Next Generation)  
_**Misha**: (_showing off his new N-Tek jumpsuit_) Well, what do you think?  
**Aiden**: The fit is...um, yeah. Excuse me for a moment....(_grabs suited Misha, drags him off-screen where we hear a loud commotion_)  
_(after long intermission, a rather rumpled Misha reappears)  
_**Misha**: Sorry for the interruption; no one warned me of her attraction to lycra.  
**Aiden**: Come back! I'm not done yet!  
**Misha**: In the meanwhile, please enjoy this special viewing of Lawrence of Arabia. (_rushes off screen_)

* * *

_Author's Notes: Never trust two sugar-enhanced twentysomethings with wicked senses of humor. We might just create something like this. Ellen and I had a _real_ interesting chat night. :) What all have we referenced? Let's see, the fan community (hi Maxy!), Sluggy Freelance (www.sluggy.com--Worship the Comic. Is it not nifty?), future characters (muuuuch future!), Action Man, Five Ninja Takeout (they deliver anywhere...and they mean anywhere! Check Ellen's page for profiles), Baywatch, in a round about way.... The only things we lay claim to are Aiden, Misha, the Five Ninjas and our twisted senses of humor. Oh, and I stole the term "Omake Theater" from the anime series Blue Seed._


End file.
